


Type

by LittleSweetCheeks



Category: Madam Secretary
Genre: AU, Gen, Illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:15:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27321076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSweetCheeks/pseuds/LittleSweetCheeks
Summary: Alison and Blake have a special bond.
Comments: 31
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

A soft rap of knuckles on her open glass door made Nadine look up. The Secretary’s fifteen-year-old daughter was standing nervously in the doorway. “Hello. Alison, right?”

“Yeah.” Alison looked down at her feet. “I was… Have you seen my mom? I couldn’t reach my dad and she’s not in her office.”

Nadine shook her head. “I believe she’s still over at the White House. I’m sorry.” She would swear it looked like tears were forming in the young girl’s eyes. “Is there something I could help you with?” Barely six months in and she’d only met any of the kids in passing once or twice, but the maternal part of her recognized a child in need.

“I wish.” It came out with a frown. “Is Blake here or with her?”

“He’s here. Was he not at his desk?”

Alison shook her head.

“Well. I can find him.” She tapped the keyboard to wake up her monitor. “Come in and sit. Can I get you something?” She caught her shake her head again before shifting her focus to type a message to Blake, alerting him. “I’m sure he’s somewhere in the building.” Alison sniffled and Nadine pulled open a drawer, lifting out a small box of tissues and moving to the couch as well before handing them over. “I’m a pretty good listener if there’s something you just need to talk out.”

“You wouldn’t understand.” Her voice caught. “No one understands, that’s the problem. Well, except him.” Nadine saw her squeeze her eyes shut, forcing tears to track down her cheeks.

When the crying started fully, she pushed past the hesitancy over this being her boss’s daughter and pulled her into a hug, holding her tight. They sat together, her stroking Alison’s hair and offering her calming words, for ten minutes before she saw a glimpse of Blake coming up the hall.

He appeared in the doorway and paused. “Ali?”

Nadine let go as Alison pushed up and nearly threw herself into Blake, still crying so her next words came out almost as a wail. “Why couldn’t I be normal? Why do I have to be the one to deal with all of this?” She had no idea what the teen was talking about, but it was clear he did. She watched him get her calmed down before guiding her back to the couch and taking a chair for himself.

“What happened?”

“This popular guy found out and started saying horrible stuff about me. It hurt and then everyone laughed and now they’re saying stuff online about me.”

He sighed. “I’m so sorry.” He leaned forward, resting a hand on her knee. “Did you report them to the school?”

“No.”

“Why not? That school has a zero-tolerance bullying policy.”

“Then I’m the tattletale _and_ the weird kid who’s a walking pincushion.”

“I get it, I really do, Ali.” He checked his watch. “Your mom’s going to be a while yet. I’m not expecting her back most of the afternoon.”

“All the world’s problems come before mine, I know. My stuff isn’t as important.”

“No, it is. How about we go take a walk?”

“Don’t you have work too?”

“Nothing that I can’t do later.” He stood, waiting for her to copy him. “Go leave your bag in your mom’s office.” He shooed her out.

“So…” Nadine spoke again once the girl was gone. “What don’t I understand?” He shot her a questioning look and she arched a brow. “She came in upset and said only you understood.”

She watched him frown and look around. “You should join us on our walk.”

=MS=

The two blocks that carried them in the direction of the reflecting pool were filled with idle chatter, mostly from Alison. Nadine hung back half a stride, watching the other two stroll side by side. If she hadn’t known better, she would’ve dismissed them as brother and sister. There was a bond between them and a bit of protectiveness in the way Blake carried himself. She listened as he teased her lightly, drawing giggles from her to replace the tears from before.

They crossed the last street and started along the sun dappled walkway when Blake shifted the subject. “So, Alison… I think Nadine has some questions and now might be a good time to practice answering them.”

Alison’s smile faded. “Can you go first? It’s just so… embarrassing.”

Nadine didn’t miss the fond smile on his face. “Fine.” He didn’t continue though until they made their way to a picnic table tucked off the path. “Alison here is-”

“Bla-ake.” Ali cut him off. “That’s not how I meant.”

“Then perhaps you should start. You need to practice saying it. Build your confidence. I’ve had tons of practice.”

She huffed, glancing at Nadine out of the corner of her eye. “It’s hard.”

“It only gets easier with practice.” He pressed.

She didn’t look up when she turned her body to mostly face Nadine. “I was diagnosed with type one diabetes… when I was nine.”

Whatever she’d expected Alison to say, that hadn’t been it. “Oh.”

“I guess I’m not really good at talking about it. I should probably get better.”

“I’m sorry. I imagine that’s very hard, especially at your age now and starting a new school.”

Ali shrugged. “Managing it isn’t bad anymore. Boys are just mean.”

She tried to piece it together, and most things fell into place easily except one. She shifted her gaze to Blake. “So how do you fit into this?”

“I have it too.”


	2. Chapter 2

In the weeks after the walk, Nadine slowly realized that while Blake had never specifically stated before that he had type one, he’d never hidden managing it either.

Watching him one morning from the entry to the breakroom, she couldn’t help but bring it up. “How old were you?”

He looked up, confused for a moment before he seemed to understand. “My diagnosis you mean?” She nodded. “Four. I landed in a coma before my parents had a clue. Growing up… It was hard. Finger pricks all the time, injections that I hated, I was on this really restrictive diet most of my childhood. It sucked… I hated every kid who got to be normal for a long time.”

“I’m sorry.”

He gave her a half smile. “The experience and outsider perspective helps now.”

“How’s that?”

“Well, I can relate to being different or not fitting in. I understand what it’s like to carry something other people can’t see and don’t understand.” He continued poking around the baked goods. “I met the McCords two years after Alison’s diagnosis. She would come straight to campus every day to sit with the Secretary after school let out. Every day. She was so afraid of letting Ali out of her sight.” He finally picked a scone and cut it in half. “By then I’d been living with it just over twenty years, it didn’t take much to see what they were going through.”

“And you told them about yourself?”

“Yes. I used to volunteer as a mentor for newly diagnosed kids before I’d gone off to grad school. I go to meetups when I can. I did that in Charlottesville and do it here too.”

“That’s generous of you.”

“There are these weekend retreats.” He smiled. “Some are for families to just come and meet other families. Some are for the kids and their siblings or friends. When I can, I go work as a counselor. I’ve wanted to do the summer camp, but they ask for a two-week commitment. When she got offered this job, she begged me to come along to help with Alison. If she and Henry are ever both gone, then I’m around with the experience to manage her condition.”

“Oh.” She’d wondered on several occasions why Blake had accepted a position so beneath his skills. “It’s nice that you accepted.”

“At first I said no, actually. This wasn’t what I had in mind to do with my degree. I mean, I wanted to do what Jay does, not schedule meetings and carry the coffee. She sweetened the pot by saying I could spearhead a program for getting treatments solidified in developing nations. In some areas of the world, it’s still a death sentence.” He tapped on his phone before biting finally into his scone. “It’s wonderful to help locally, I enjoy that, but there’s something awesome about knowing I could help families who wouldn’t have a chance otherwise.”

“Very noble of you. May I ask… I’ve never seen you use anything I would associate with being diabetic… I’m sorry if that’s rude.”

“It’s fine.” He waved off. “I’m happy to explain it.” He shrugged off his suit jacket and pressed against his right shoulder. “I have a continuous glucose monitor in my arm.” Through the fabric, she could make out the shape of something small raised under the fabric. “And then over here…” He turned and smoothed his shirt just below his ribs on the left. “This is my insulin pump. Both of them work through my phone so most of the time you don’t see anything except another millennial on their phone.” He chuckled.

“And it’s totally hidden by your suit.” She observed as he pulled his jacket back on. “Even now that I know, I still can’t tell.”

“That’s the idea.”

“What’s what idea?” Elizabeth asked as she appeared beside Nadine.

“Nadine said she couldn’t tell I had the Omni or the Dex, I said that was the idea.”

“Ah.” She continued to the food, pointing at the half scone. “Yours?”

“I decided not to waste my carbs on a whole one, have it.”


	3. Chapter 3

Reaching for another folder from her inbox, Nadine skimmed it once to see exactly how much of her attention it needed before starting again. She made it to the third page before a new email caught her attention. After talking to Blake weeks earlier, she’d put out feelers to see how he was coming along with setting up a program to address type one in certain developing countries. Quietly, she’d used some of her considerable reach to get the right kind of people interested and reaching out to him.

She was just finishing replying when she sensed more than saw someone leaning in her doorway. “Yes?” She looked up after she spoke and then frowned. “Blake?”

“I need you to drive me home.”

She was already on her feet. “What’s wrong?”

He only shook his head and she was already pulling her purse from the drawer and tossing her coat over her arm.

“Come on.” She didn’t question further, even as he leaned heavily against the side of the elevator, until he was secured in her car and she was pulling them onto the street. “What’s wrong?” She tried again.

“I feel sick.”

She looked over to see his head tipped back and his eyes shut. “Do you need me to stop?”

He shook his head.

“Let me know.” The normally quick trip seemed to take an eternity as she checked on him at every opportunity. The nearest parking space she found was half a block up. “I hope you’re okay for walking.”

“I don’t have much of a choice.”

“Should we go to the hospital instead?” It’d been running through her mind the whole drive and she finally voiced it. He stumbled and she tossed a hand out to steady him. “I’ve never seen you like this.”

“I just need to get in.” He squinted at his keys, trying two before getting frustrated.

“Here.” She took them from his hand and made a best guess, shoving it into the lock and getting the door open. Following him in, she watched as he went straight for the bathroom, returning minutes later with a bag and placing it on the table.

“Please stay, just in case.”

“Just in case of what?” The ominous tone to his statement worried her. “What?”

“The pump isn’t working. That happens sometimes. Unfortunately, it had to do it today.”

“Why unfortunately today?”

He didn’t explain further. Instead he worked free of his jacket and tie and then started working the buttons of his shirt. “I’m sorry, you’re about to see more than you probably wanted. Could you, um, I forgot to grab the box of tissues.”

“Of course.” She went in search of them, returning in time to see him removing an adhesive patch. “Here you go.” She made a sympathetic wince as it pulled from his skin. “Anything else?”

She watched as he shook his head and carried on what he was doing. The plastic device came off next and he hissed, pressing tissues against the site to staunch bleeding. “Taking it out early hurts like hell.” He explained.

Nadine knew she was hovering now, but she had no idea what, if anything, she should be doing to help. “Can I get you something?”

“A glass of water.”

“Of course.” She hurried to the cabinets to find a glass, keeping one eye on him the entire time. “Now what?”

“I’ll need to lie down.” He pushed up, letting his shirt fall back into place as he stumbled to the bed.

Silently taking a seat at the table he’d just left, she watched him across the room as questions rushed through her mind.

=MS=

Half an hour had passed as he’d restlessly laid on the bed. Nadine found herself relieved when he eventually pushed back to sitting and looked her way. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Making you see all this. I know it’s hard to stomach.”

“No, it’s… I just don’t understand it. What happened?”

He still looked like he didn’t feel all well as he moved to the table and started picking through his supplies. “This morning was fine. Keith brought in cake and I punched in the units of insulin, but I guess the pump malfunctioned then. It didn’t discharge. I thought I was good to go and ate and went back to my desk.” A frown flicked at his lips. “I’m well versed in my symptoms of a dangerous sugar spike.”

“Don’t you have supplies at work?”

“Yes and I took insulin once I realized there was a problem, it just went up so fast and... It’s… being open and honest about it is one thing, having a massive audience while I’m sick in another.”

“I can appreciate that.”

“And I still would’ve had to have come home.” He sighed. “Now I have to load and set a new pump.” He arched a brow at her. “You can watch if you want, I really don’t mind. It goes quick. This one I have to change every three days anyway. The other one…” He pulled his sleeve up, revealing a smaller device surrounded by a Flash adhesive. “This lasts a week to ten days.”

She couldn’t help the grin. “Nice sticker.”

For the first time since he’d turned up in her doorway, he attempted a smile. “Thanks. I happened to be heading to the hospital the day it was due to be changed and kids love the superhero ones.” When he looked up again, she was studying him curiously. “Children’s National has a big program and team. It can be scary for new parents to process everything the endo and rest of the team bombard them with. They’re given the choice to speak with someone, usually another parent, who is further along in the journey.” He trailed off as he handled the prep on the new pod. “Adorable little boy, seven years old. He and his parents came here from Libya and it was just… a lot for them to handle. They were scared and worried and the nurse coordinator asked if I was free.”

“And since you have connections…”

“I was able to assure them they wouldn’t lose their claim just because he was sick. He liked the superhero though.” He nudged the bag her way. “There are all kinds in there.”

Curious, she accepted his permission and had a look. There were plain beige ones but also more superheroes and a few with animals as well as some that were blank pictures. “Are these for coloring?”

“Mm-hm.” He nodded. “They make good crafts. Kids think it’s fun to color something I will wear. They have like these group therapy type days; patients can get together and play games. They can color their own patches and I’ll color for them and they color some for me.”

She put them all back. “I think you are the strongest person I know.” He laughed and she shook her head. “I’m serious. If Alison McCord hadn’t come to my office, I probably still wouldn’t know any of this about you. The way you just handle it and then you go the extra mile and help other people, it’s… admirable.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Ma’am? There’s a call for the Secretary on the main line, they say it’s about Alison McCord. What do you want me to do?”

Nadine barely glanced up. “Did they say who they are?”

“No, Ma’am.”

She glanced at the clock, it was late, but her boss was in Europe. “Put it through to me.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

A minute later, her line rang. “This is Nadine Tolliver.”

“Ma’am, my name is Ruth Smith and I’m a nurse at George Washington Hospital. Alison McCord was brought in unconscious about thirty minutes ago and the friends who brought her in alerted us that she’s the Secretary’s daughter. I am trying to reach her.”

“She’s out of the country. Is- What happened? I’m her Chief of Staff. I’ll- I can track down her father, but what happened?”

“According to the girls who brought her in, she fell asleep in the back seat of a car and wouldn’t wake up. We’re uncertain of the timeline just yet. We suspected alcohol or drug use, that’s often the case with teens their ages, until the nurses started looking her over. Then we discovered she’s diabetic.”

“Yeah, she’s… yeah. I know.” She stood, waving down the assistant who’d sent the call through. Still listening to the nurse, she covered the mouthpiece. “Call down to diplomatic security and tell them there’s a situation and to be on standby, please.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“We’ve already started treating her, but obviously we need her parent or guardian to come as quickly as possible.”

“I’ll take care of it.” She thanked the nurse and hung up before lifting it again while tapping out a number from memory. All she got was Henry’s voicemail. “Dammit.” She tried another angle, calling security. “I need agents to go over to the White House and drag Henry McCord out of whatever hole Russell Jackson has him shoved in and take him immediately to GWU Hospital. Alison McCord has been admitted there and I can’t reach him.” She listened to them confirm that. “And I need an agent to drive me there from the office… Thank you.”

Grabbing her things, she darted for the elevators, hoping Henry was reached quickly. Once she was in the SUV, she did the math to Belgium and hit speed dial. Not looking forward to waking her boss up at three in the morning, she opted to defer the worst of it onto someone else. “Blake. There’s a problem.”

She could almost hear as he stretched and tried to work out who he was even speaking to. It always took a few seconds when she woke him from a dead sleep. “Nadine… What’s wrong?”

“Alison is in the hospital; I don’t have many details but she was unconscious. I’ve sent security to take Henry there and I’m on my way.”

And then it was like she could see the tumblers fall. “And you called me instead of the Secretary so I’m the one to tell her.”

“I swear the second I know more, I will call you.” Her phone beeped just as they pulled up to the hospital and she checked the screen. “Henry’s on his way. I’m here now. I’ll call soon.”

“Yeah. I’ll go wake her up.” She could hear the resignation and reminded herself to do something to thank him later.

“Thank you.” Nadine ended the call and rushed in, the agent trailing behind her. She found the right floor and hurried to the desk, ignoring the teenaged girls sitting in chairs nearby. “I’m Nadine Tolliver, I was called about Alison McCord?”

One of the nurses behind the counter stood. “I’m Ruth. Alison is sleeping now, were you able to reach her father?”

“He’s on his way. He’ll be about twenty minutes. Can I see her?” She could see Ruth start to object. “I need to report back to her mother.”

“Last door on the end there. From speaking to the girls who brought her in and running our tests, it looks like she became hypoglycemic and passed out.”

“Thank you.” At the doorway, Nadine stood a moment, watching Alison sleep. She had no idea what she was expecting, but it was almost anticlimactic seeing her curled up in the bed. Stepping in, she placed her bag on a chair and pulled her phone out again.

“You’re on speaker.” Blake said by way of greeting.

“I’m with her now, she’s sleeping. Henry will be here in a few minutes.”

“What happened, Nadine?” Elizabeth’s voice filtered through. “Do they have any idea?”

“They said she was… hypoglycemic, when she came in, Ma’am.”

“I didn’t get an…” She could hear the confusion and then a pause before Blake said something in the background she couldn’t make out. Her boss spoke again. “She must’ve left it off. I didn’t even catch it.”

“Off?” She tried to lean in.

“We all should’ve gotten an alarm when she dropped low. I’m not even showing it’s connected.”

=MS=

“You don’t have to stay.” It was the fourth time, at least, that Henry had said it.

“It’s fine. Alison will need your full attention. I can take care of whatever you need.”

“You’ll need to be back in the office in the morning.”

“One night won’t hurt me.” She sighed. “And honestly, I’ll be able to better anticipate what may fall apart if I have advance knowledge of whatever news you’re about to update the Secretary with.” She studied him for a beat. “Surely she knew the risks.” Her eyes drifted back to Alison.

He nodded. “She did. And we’re so used to her handling it on her own that none of us double checked this evening.”

=MS=

Nadine sat quietly to the side while Doctor Gutierrez talked with Henry and Alison. She’d been prepared to step out when Henry had stopped her, saying there was nothing to hide. She didn’t really understand any of what was being said, though.

When the Doctor finished and left, she excused herself and followed him into the hall. “Excuse me, Doctor?”

He turned back. “Yes. Mrs. Tolliver, correct?”

“Yes. Nadine is fine. I was wondering- Is there a way to learn more? About type one or… any of it really?” She drew a breath. “A friend of mine has it as well and I guess I never realized just how much there is to know and how little awareness there is about what this is.”

She watched as he looked back toward Alison’s room and then back to her. “You work for Mrs. McCord.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“You know, your friend would tell you everything there is to know if you asked him.” Her eyes widened slightly in surprise and he chuckled. “Blake isn’t a patient of mine, so no confidentiality issue. Also, he knows I talk about him.” He passed Alison’s file to the nurse at the desk. “As far as learning about the disorder… If you’re really serious, I’m sure we could come up with something. There is precious little awareness about what it really is and it does a disservice to my patients because people make assumptions.”

As he finished talking, a boy that looked only a few years younger that Alison walked up dressed in sweats. “Doctor G, did I see Alison McCord down the hall?”

“Yes, you did.”

The boy’s face lit up. “Maybe I’ll get a rematch!” He mimicked using a game controller.

“Ah.” The doctor put up a hand. “Blake isn’t around.”

“Why? Where is he?”

Doctor G turned to Nadine, giving her a questioning look.

“Um- He’s in Belgium.” She answered.

“Like… the country?”

“Yes.” She couldn’t help the amusement as the boy’s face fell as he turned and walked away.

“Max was with us a while back with Alison was last in.”

“I remember that.” Elizabeth had cleared her schedule until Alison had been discharged.

He nodded. “He was in the child life room on his own and Blake had stopped by with paperwork and spotted him. At rounds I found Mrs. McCord sitting with Alison and a stack of folders and Max and Blake embattled on the Xbox.” He checked his watch. “I am sorry, I have to get to a meeting. But if you are truly interested in learning about it, we can get you set up.”

“Thank you.” She watched him walk away before returning to Alison’s room. “I think I’m going to head to the office.” She addressed Henry. “If you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to call.”

“Actually.” He turned in his chair. “I have a meeting tonight with Russell. If it’s not an inconvenience, would you be willing to come sit while I go? I know it’s not- I would hate to impose-”

Nadine shook her head. “It’s fine. Send me the time and I’ll be here.”

“Da-ad! I don’t need a babysitter!”

Nadine gave her a mischievous smirk as Henry tried to defend his idea. “How are you at playing poker?”

=MS=

The hospital room was silent. Nadine kept her face carefully blank as she waited for Alison to make a decision. Secretly, she was impressed. The girl definitely had acquired a gift from her parents, both of them, for subterfuge. If she weren’t naturally so sweet, she’d be an exceptionally dangerous teenager… Or perhaps she was and she was simply that good at deception.

“I…hold.” Alison finally said, uncertainly.

Nadine allowed one brow to creep up incrementally.

“Wait! Maybe I raise?”

A smirk began to follow her brow.

“This is so hard! Your poker face is so much better than Mom’s!” She laughed. “Fine. Hold. That’s my final answer.” She laid her card down on the bed. A full house.

Nadine spread her own out, a flush.

“Wait… I won?” Her head popped up after studying their hands. “I never beat Mom!”

“That’s because your mother cheats.” Nadine said matter-of-factly as she gathered the cards to shuffle again. She grinned at Alison’s surprise. “She counts cards. I mean, a mathematician and a CIA analyst? It’s practically a given.”

Ali laughed. “I never thought about that.” She leaned back. “I know I complained this morning, but I’m glad you came by to hang out with me.”

Her sincerity took Nadine by surprise and she gave Alison a soft smile. “It’s my pleasure. I have to admit, I didn’t really know anything about this condition before last year. I’ve spoken to Blake on a few occasions, but it was always very superficially. I spoke to your doctor this morning about resources to become more educated on it.”

“Why?”

“Well. First, to simply be informed on something that impacts the lives of other people. But also to know how to be supportive. To know if there is something I could be saying or doing differently.”

“Oh. That’s… really nice. I wish more people understood what it was and how to help. Sometimes people do things on purpose that hurt someone who is diabetic.”

“Like what?”

Ali shrugged one shoulder and sighed before answering. “It’s really scary going for coffee, especially if it’s a place you don’t know or a barista that’s new. They get judgy. I know which sweeteners I can and can’t have and I am specific, but if I can’t see them make it and they think I’m being obnoxious, they’ll put the wrong thing in and then my insulin is off and I get sick. And then once I’ve taken some-”

“You have to wait a couple hours to take more.”

“Yeah.”

“People really do that?”

Alison nodded. “The wrong soda if you ask for diet or sugar free. They’ll give fake information about food. It’s… scary. I haven’t had the coffee one happen yet, but…” Her eyes cut away. “A friend of mine had it happen before. I was with them, just the two of us.”

“You must have been terrified.” She placed the cards on the bed. “May I ask… Why did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“You normally wear a glucose monitor, but you took it off? That doesn’t sound…” She shrugged. “Normal, I guess. Your parents sounded upset when they found out last night you didn’t have it on and Blake, well…” She let that one go. “So you didn’t know you were dropping and no one else knew either, right?”

“I thought I would just feel it. I thought… I wanted to wear this cute top but it’s a halter neck and had no sleeves. I didn’t want to walk around with everyone staring at my monitor.”

“Oh.” Nadine stared out the windows into the darkness for a moment, considering. “When I was your age, I was a dancer. I wanted to be a dancer, that was it. I went to school in the mornings and then dance classes the rest of the day and on the days I didn’t have classes, I was at home practicing.” She ducked her head. She’d never talked about it to anyone, not since she’d stopped dancing anyway. “By the time I reached the age you are now, because of the dancing and the diet a dancer keeps to, I hadn’t started puberty yet and… I was horribly embarrassed. I know it might be hard to believe now, but there was a time when I was a lot like you, perhaps a bit more wild, but I went to parties and stayed out at night. But the other girls had curves and bodies that fit their clothes properly and, well, were a lot taller than me it seemed and I was terribly self-conscious about what other people thought when they looked at me.”

“Really?” Alison sounded surprised. “But you’re always so…” Her lips pursed together as she searched for the word. “Elegant. Confident.”

Nadine nodded. “Eventually… I got there in the end. I filled out more, got older. Had my son, which changed my body and how I felt in it in entirely different ways. It took time, no one really feels like they’re comfortable in their skin as a teenager. That’s the big secret. Everyone is just as worried as you are.” She studied her a moment. “Would you like another secret?” She paused. “I still worry and feel the same apprehension now. I was a dancer and then went to law school. I never imagined meeting kings and presidents and not only meeting them, but having to speak to them?”

“I know mom gets really nervous when she has to talk to people.”

“She does.” She caught Alison’s frown and opted to shift the mood. “Have you ever played Cheat?” She picked the deck up again.


	5. Chapter 5

“Did I overhear that you have a meeting this afternoon with Lydia Dalton?” Blake appeared in Nadine’s doorway.

“You did and I do.”

“I didn’t know the two of you were chummy.”

That pulled her attention away from her computer, a brow arching at his choice of words. “Chummy?”

Blake laughed and helped himself to a seat on her couch. “Anything we will have to worry about over here?”

“No. It’s nothing. I am hoping to get her to take on an initiative. She has promoted since Dalton’s campaign about awareness and education for children’s health. She spent some time bringing light to childhood cancers last year.”

“I remember. So, you’re hoping to get her to do another awareness campaign?”

“That’s the hope.”

‘What is it then?”

Nadine glanced his way and then looked at the thick folder waiting on the corner of her desk. She pressed her lips together nervously. She hadn’t planned on him finding out until after it was done and agreed upon.

He’d caught the path of her gaze and leaned forward, touching the top. “This?”

“Yes.” She answered softly, anxiously watching as he pulled it back with him, opening it in his lap. “It’s… I don’t know if she’ll go for it.” She suddenly was afraid he might take it the wrong way somehow.

He read every page slowly, she’d only expected him to look briefly at the first one, and then he looked up. “Wow. You’ve put a lot of time and research into this. Is this- Is this because of me?”

Nadine swallowed. “Partly. You, Alison… I spoke to her doctor when she ended up in the hospital last month. Through him I began learning everything I could about type one, how it happens, how it changes the family’s lives, the research that is out there. I haven’t-” She took a careful breath. “I didn’t mean for it to be invasive. I just have heard stories about things that could’ve been prevented with some basic awareness… Is this okay?”

It took a full minute before he looked up. “Pardon?”

“Is it okay? That I’m asking her to make this a platform. I’m sorry for going behind your back about it.”

“No, it’s… This is great.” He shook his head. “If she spoke about this, that would do… so, so much. They talk in schools and on TV about the platform the First Lady is pushing. This would make a huge impact for a lot of kids. For their families.”

Cautiously, she decided to share with him her next idea. “If she takes it, I had something else I was hoping to make… Phase two I suppose.” She sat straight. “The international work you’ve been setting up. I was thinking, if Lydia announced this and got the country talking, that can be kept in the headlines for about six weeks before it starts to fade. If we had the international side ready to go by then, then we could bring it back to the forefront of attention by broadening the knowledge to what is needed in developing countries.”

He stared at her a moment. “You’re serious about this.”

“I am.”

“And you really think she’ll go for it?”

“I do.” She smirked. There were a few rounds of poker that Lydia Dalton still owed her for that she didn’t doubt the First Lady would be thrilled to have erased, if it came to it.

“She’ll need doctors and researchers to speak with her, it looks like you have those, but you’ll need families who will agree and that could be tricky. Having the kids is good, but if you’re going to go all in on this idea, then people need to understand that it doesn’t magically get better when you become an adult. The old name of Juvenile Diabetes, a lot of people think that means it’s only kids and I don’t know… It goes away when you turn eighteen? Or it turns into the other type?”

Nadine was surprised at how enthusiastically he was responding to the idea.

“I could speak, when the schedule allows…. If she wants. You can tell her that. I don’t know though if the Secretary would want me to do that, I do end up on TV with her quite often just by being with her all the time. It could detract from what she’s doing if reporters want to start asking me things. I don’t know…”

“Blake.” She cut in. “I’ll start by just talking to Lydia. We’ll see how it goes from there.” She checked her watch and stood, gathering her things for the next meeting as Blake returned the folder to its place. When she rounded the desk, she was surprised when he enveloped her in a hug. “Oh.”

“Thank you.”


	6. Chapter 6

Nadine huffed as they stepped into the hall. “Well, Ma’am, if we can get the Russian’s on board, we just might have a deal.”

Jay made a sound similar to a snort. “That’s still a big if.”

She shot a look to him, agreeing with her eyes. “That the Ukrainian’s are even talking is a good sign.” The Secretary’s phone buzzed and she pulled it out, pressing the screen with a frown as Jay and Nadine carried on a bit more with the conversation. Nadine finally took notice. “Is there a problem, Ma’am?”

“Um, I’m not sure.” Nadine watched her look around. “How much time do we have before we sit down with the Russians?”

Nadine checked her watch. “About three minutes.”

Her boss nodded. “I need to call Blake. Do we know how far he got with that aide?”

Jay nodded. “He finished and was going to email me the details. I haven’t received it yet, so I’m guessing he’s still holed up in his room typing.”

They watched her tap the phone and hold it to her ear. “I need to reach him really quick.” Nadine could hear when it went to his voicemail. “Crap.” Elizabeth looked toward the door to the room they were about to walk in and then back to them. “Nadine, could you try him again and if he doesn’t answer, come let me know.”

“In the meeting?” Jay’s brows pulled together.

“Yes.” She answered and then thought better of it. “Wait. You know what, keep trying but go physically find him.”

“Wha- what about the Russians?” Jay tried again.

Elizabeth faced him fully. “I think you can handle keeping me on track, Jay. You have more than enough expertise, just have to work on the finesse.” She patted his arm before turning back to Nadine. “Find him.”

Nadine stared in confusion as the pair started to walk away. “Ma’am?” She waited for her to turn around. “For what reason?”

=MS=

Holding her phone to her ear with her shoulder, Nadine upended the bag onto the desk, sending a cascade of items across the surface and onto the floor. “What am I looking for?”

She’d taken a chance with the phone call to Henry. They really did need Russia to get on board and pulling the Secretary from the meeting was, as far as she was concerned, a very last resort. Granted, Elizabeth was going to be upset about that decision later, but it would be after the meeting was over. “It’s a pimple pack.” Henry’s voice spoke into her ear. “You know, silver on the back, you push them through.”

“I don’t see… Wait! I found them.” She snatched them up. “Now what?”

“What’s he look like?”

“What?” Henry’s question didn’t make sense to her.

“Is he aware enough to chew them? They’re chewable.”

“Um, maybe.” She twisted to look again at where Blake was sitting in a chair, eyes only cracked open.

“If you can, give him four of them. He dropped really fast, if you can get him to take them, then he’ll avoid the really dangerous range.” She heard Henry sigh. “It’s probably just a cold.”

Nadine pulled the phone back and stared at it in horror a moment before bringing it back into place.

“Put me on speaker so your hands are free.”

“Of course.” She obliged and pushed four of the little white pills out, working to get those cracked open eyes to look up at her, the entire time thankful the technology existed that had warned the Secretary of the situation in the first place. She knew well that her boss could see Alison’s numbers, had known for two years now, but she’d never realized or even thought about the importance of someone having that kind of access for an adult, especially an adult who lived alone like Blake. “Come on, Blake. Henry says these will help.” She swallowed nervously. He seemed to comprehend and allowed her to help him with them.

“Henry?” She spoke once they were all in. “He took them.”

“Then all you can do now is give him some time.”

“How much time?”

“Ten minutes or so. While you wait, he’ll need juice and like a peanut butter sandwich in fifteen or twenty minutes. Something to work on leveling his numbers out. By then he’ll be more coherent.”

“Okay.” She turned in a circle, taking in the room. “I don’t see anything in here.” She opened the tiny fridge. “Well, there’s juice in here, but that’s it.”

“Does Elizabeth’s suite have like a kitchenette?”

“It does.”

“He probably stored something in there then.”

Nadine spotted Blake’s navy blazer on the bed and checked the pockets, coming up with two keycards. “I think I found the key.”

“Are they those disposable ones?”

“Yes.”

“Look on the front, the side with the hotel name.”

She pushed them apart.

“There’s probably a mark on one.”

“There’s a three or something on one of them.”

Henry chuckled. “It’s not a three, it’s a bird. For Bluebird.”

“How did you even know that?”

=MS=

She watched him eat in silence. When he was done, she finally spoke up. “Would you show me how to have that app on my phone?”

He looked up and just stared for a moment and then his brows pulled together. “Why?”

“I would like to be someone who could be there for you when there’s a problem. I- I would like to think I’d be able to help or at least… At least be there for you and to get you to a hospital.”

“I-” She watched him think. “I don’t know… It’s pretty personal. I mean, not personal, but… personal. It’s hard to explain.”

When he looked up again, she nodded. “I worry. I know you’re capable, it’s just…” She sighed. “I couldn’t help wondering what would’ve happened if the Secretary hadn’t sent me back.”

“I’ll think about it. Even… two years is barely anything and ninety-nine percent of the time I’m managing perfectly, so you don’t see it. You maybe think about it when you’re around me, but then you get to go about your life as normal and I’m still dealing with it.” He coughed slightly and she frowned.

“You were coughing a bit on the flight over.”

“It’s nothing, I’m fine. Air is drier here.”

Nadine was about to say more, but her phone rang and she looked at the screen. “Ma’am?” She answered.

“How is he? I could see everything.”

“He’s just finished eating. I- I called Henry when I got here.”

It sounded like that calmed her boss’s anxiety slightly. “Okay. Well, he’s an expert I guess.”

“How’d the meeting go?”

She understood the humorless laugh, had heard it enough times. “They agreed, reluctantly. Even a whiff of a problem and they’ll be out the door though.” There was noise in the background. “We’re getting back in the car. I am exhausted, but we need to be thinking about dinner before we forget. Whose turn is it to pick?”

Nadine could just make out Jay’s voice further away as he answered that it was his. “We’ll see you when you arrive, Ma’am.” She ended the call.


	7. Chapter 7

Nadine balanced the pile of folders in one arm, determined not to spill them everywhere as she held a mug of tea in the other. It was only a few more steps into Elizabeth’s office and then she’d be able to sit all of it down.

She cut through the waiting area and was almost to the open doorway when she realized someone was seated on the couch and she stopped, turning back. “Alison!” She smiled, surprised to see a McCord child around the office. “Which one are you looking for?”

“My mom. Do you know when she’ll be back?”

“In fact, I do. Come in.” She continued her path into the office, carrying on what she was doing as she spoke. “Blake texted me and said they were headed back to the vehicles, so it won’t be too long before they’re back… Are you excited to be starting college soon?”

“I am.” She beamed. “It’s only an hour away and Mom acts like it’s in Europe or something. I mean, I’m going into fashion and design, Europe really could’ve been on the list.”

“College is hard on moms, be gentle with her. She worries extra for you.”

“I know.”

Nadine studied her where she’d draped across the couch. “What’s up?”

Alison sighed. “What if I’m not good? Or what if I get sick or something?”

“Well… I’ve seen your designs and your mom shares the blog posts you make, so I can safely say you are very good. As far as the other, I think it’s going to happen, the important part is how you handle it.”

“I know… It’s just, it’s _another_ group of people where I have to explain over and over what’s wrong with me and worry about being judged.”

Nadine nodded. “True. But college is different. Everyone is a bit more grown up and so it’s not the same kind of judgement you get in middle or even high school. Granted, the first couple years are still the worst, it’s a transition time for everyone, but we all get through it and come out mostly unscathed.” Collecting her tea, she moved to a chair across from Alison. “It seems the boys grow up slower than the girls, though the group you’ll likely gravitate to in fashion has a lot of similarities to the theater group I ran with and, at least in my experience, they are about the most welcoming kind of people. They might surprise you.”

She watched as Alison seemed to think about that a moment before responding. “Well, if the boys are likely to be the problem, I’ll just not give them the time of day until they’ve matured a bit.” She hesitated a beat. “Plenty of girls around to choose from anyway.”

Thankful Alison’s attention was elsewhere and not on her, Nadine allowed herself a full second to process what it sounded like the girl had just told her before moving the conversation on. “Yes, well, college isn’t supposed to be about dating anyway, is it?” She chuckled when that did get Ali’s attention. “You will be okay. I promise. And if you’re not? Well, the school no doubt knows how to handle it and like you said, we’re all just an hour away.”

“Oh, good, you’re here!” They both turned as Elizabeth swept in looking exhausted. “Look, Ali, I know I promised shopping, but I have a meeting with the widow of that employee who died and I’m just exhausted. Could we reschedule?”

Nadine could see the obviousness in her statement, Elizabeth looked ready to drop where she stood, but she also saw Alison’s face fall. “Ma’am, I’ll take the meeting with the widow. You go ahead and go with Alison now, stop for a coffee and see how far you two get. You never know, fresh air and a change of scenery might be just the boost you need.” She stood as she spoke.

Elizabeth stuttered a moment. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Ma’am. And you can be in late tomorrow if need be. I’ll sort out the schedule with Blake.” She walked to the open doorway.

“But I have so much to do around here still.”

“Blake.” Nadine called out, ignoring her boss’s protests. When he leaned back to see around the wall, she continued. “The Secretary is heading back out, with Alison, for the day. Could you let her detail know the change of plans?”

“Oh, thank god, maybe she’ll get a nap on the way.” He turned away, leaving Nadine to wonder on his words.

Once mother and daughter had departed, Nadine caught Blake’s attention on her next trip through to the office with more paperwork. “I have an odd question, but it’s been so long for me since I had the kind of conversation I think I had.”

Blake sat in Elizabeth’s chair and organized the files as Nadine handed them over. “Okay, shoot.”

“Is it PC now to ask for clarification if you think someone has just come out to you? In my day, you didn’t ask. You didn’t bring it up at all.”

“It depends I guess on how well you know the person and just what was said. If you have the kind of relationship with them to cross that line and ask an invasive question.”

“I don’t actually know on that front. As far as what was said, well… I said something about men of a certain age still being immature and they said there were plenty of women available.”

She watched his eyes drift to the now empty couch before returning to her, seeming to work out what she hadn’t said.

Defensively, she tried to stop his thoughts before he thought ill of her for saying anything at all. “I didn’t mean- I wasn’t meaning to share something I shouldn’t have-”

“You didn’t.” He cut in. “I was just surprised that you were the one who heard it.”

“What do you mean?”

“This outing today is less about shopping and more about…” One hand waved somewhat aimlessly.

“Outing?” She offered when he struggled to produce the right word.

He chuckled, a soft smile appearing. “Yes. I’ve know for a couple years. It came up alongside a question she was mortified to ask her parents or the endo. I mean, she was still horribly embarrassed to even ask me, but she hadn’t really clicked with too many older people at the time who are like us.”

“So, you were desperate measures?”

“And I very swiftly reached out to a friend, a female friend, and got them connected. I’m willing to go the extra mile or two for younger patients and I’ll go an extra ten or twenty for Alison, but… that was about mile one hundred.”

Nadine laughed. “So, did that make me unknowingly the practice run then?”

“I assume so. Ali was pretty adamant about having that talk today, before she has to rush off to college.” He shrugged as he stood finally and began to round the desk. “College is a lot more fun out than closeted and that includes being out with your family so you don’t have to fear family weekends.” When she looked up at him in surprise, he gave her a smirk she’d learned meant he was about to share some secret he found amusing. “Turns out, type one isn’t the only thing Alison and I have in common.”

He carried on his path back to his desk as Nadine turned and just stared at the open doorway, slightly stunned. Sometimes the biggest surprises happened on their quietest days.


	8. Chapter 8

Nadine knew Elizabeth was going to be in before her that morning, so she made her way through the main office from the elevator to stop by there first. Something odd took her by surprise, making it the first question out of her mouth when she cleared the doorway. “Blake is out today, Ma’am?”

Elizabeth didn’t look up from her paperwork. “He’s out all week.” Her voice was flat.

“I wasn’t aware he was taking a vacation.” She glanced back at where a temp was sitting at Blake’s desk.

“He’s not.” Her answer was short.

“Ma’am?”

“He’s in the hospital.” Now Nadine heard it, the other woman wasn’t focused so much as she was determined to be holding it together.

Nadine shut the door and took a seat. “Is he okay?”

“No.” She still didn’t look up.

She pressed her lips together and sagged slightly. Clearly Elizabeth didn’t want to discuss it. “Okay.” She gave a nod. “Okay.” She stood again and turned to the door.

“About one third of people living with type one end up needing dialysis and a kidney transplant. A lot more end up with some level of treatable kidney disease. Obviously, the more years since their diagnosis, the higher the odds there is damage.”

Nadine stared at the wood office door in silence and mentally did the math. Blake was nearly three decades past his diagnosis now, that sounded like a long time to her. The silence finally overwhelmed her, and she turned back to her boss. “So, he’s…”

“Sick for now. He’ll get better this time. They’re giving a course of treatment a chance, but he may have to have minor surgery.”

“Oh.”

“I am so thankful he came into our lives when he did…” She finally looked up. “He’s done a lot for us, for Alison, and then look… Look what he’s done from here…” She gestured at nothing in particular, but Nadine knew the list of achievements Elizabeth meant; the list of things he’d pushed to happen in the four years since he’d started at State. “I have lost sleep every day for the past decade since Alison was diagnosed. Getting up in the night to check on her, worrying about her… Wondering what her life will look like.” She drew a breath. “But sometimes… Sometimes it hurts. I’m thankful but it hurts to have someone else I find myself losing sleep over. Worrying about.” She seemed to wilt. “I don’t know if I can keep caring…”

Her eyes drifted to the floor. Nadine thought she understood, in a way. As much as she tried to be available all around, even after all these years, she was still an outsider to the process. She didn’t lose sleep over anyone and it didn’t plague her mind constantly like it seemed to weigh on Elizabeth. “Maybe…” She started, finally gaining Elizabeth’s attention. “Maybe I should have put my foot down ages ago, been more forceful about being allowed to take some of the burden.” She shifted her bag on her shoulder. “Let me help you. Give me something… anything. You can’t keep carrying it all on your own.”

The room was quiet for a minute. “Could you check in with Blake?”

“Yes. Of course.”

“Could you… Could you sort out Lindsay, please. And… Help her with the schedule for this week. I’m not sure what else at the moment.”

“I’ll take care of it.” She nodded, finally making her way to her own office, deciding the first task was to figure out where Blake even was.

=MS=

The last time she’d been in a hospital, nearly three years ago now, had been for one of Alison’s admissions and then she’d been on the pediatric floor with its bright graphics on the walls and constant attempts to make the place look more cheerful.

She’d forgotten just how dull and… unwelcoming, a regular floor looked by comparison.

Nadine knocked on the open door and waited until his eyes pulled away from the TV flickering silently on the wall. “Hey there.” She smiled, producing a deck of cards. “Up for a game or two?”

The way he lit up startled her as he nodded, instantly shifting himself upright and tugging the blanket smooth. “Sure. Pull the table over.”

She put the rest of her things down and obliged, sitting on the foot of the bed so they were across from one another before she began shuffling. “How are you?”

“Not in pain now. They have me on some good stuff.”

“Have you been eating?” He’d given her a rundown of the situation over the phone; of the symptoms that had come up seemingly out of the blue and what the doctors had found in his kidneys.

“Trying. I still can’t really keep anything down. The medicine they were trying isn’t really working which… they said there was a chance of that. I just haven’t wanted to think too hard on the surgery option.”

“Is it still an option?” He’d made it clear just how the surgical option was performed and she could appreciate not being too eager to go through that one.

“As of rounds a half hour ago, it’s a _highly likely_. They’re giving me till morning. Of course, that means a pre-op diet just in case.”

“I’m sorry.” She dealt out the cards and then played as they spoke.

“I’m kind of thankful, I think. If I were twenty years older, at my age I would probably be in a lot worse condition. With the way the condition is managed now, the odds of me having the really bad complications are really low.” He focused on his cards for a while before speaking again. “Thank you for coming.”

“It’s my pleasure.” When he didn’t play anything, she looked up.

“I go to great lengths to stay healthy. Partly because I want to just be healthy and partly because getting sick is a hundred times worse for me than the average person. This…” He trailed off a moment. “I can’t really control this, and the odd are in favor of it slowly getting worse as I get older.” His eyes stayed on his cards as he finally played one. Nadine was familiar now with the fact that often getting anything out of Blake required much the same approach as getting anything out of Elizabeth, to sit quietly and hope they forgot they were speaking out loud. “Damage to my heart… to my nerves… kidneys obviously…” He pulled in a soft breath. “I think those are the issues that terrify me the most. Having a heart attack or a stroke because of an autoimmune disorder that’s been attacking my body my whole life.”

When it seemed he wasn’t ready to say more, Nadine silently played her round, watching him surreptitiously.

He chewed his lip. “I’ve known since I was a kid that kidney issues and kidney failure were a risk… I don’t think I ever really understood how terrifying that really would be until recently. I’ve mostly stayed out of hospitals, away from people my age and old with this… It’s easier to stay hopeful when I’m only around young people at the beginning who aren’t so sick.” The room went quiet again and then she heard a soft sniff. “Best guess is my life is easily going to be a decade shorter that average.”

She studied him before she finally spoke. “It’s just a guess.”

“What?” He seemed to startle at the reminder she was even there.

“You go to great lengths to manage yourself and stay healthy… That has to count for something.” She folded her cards into her lap, dropping the imaginary barrier between them. “And I’m always around to listen when those worries get to be too much.” A knock on the door cut her off. She twisted where she was sitting to see and found a well-dressed man roughly Blake’s age standing nervously in the doorway, eyes skittering to her and then back to Blake like he wasn’t certain.

“Hey.” The man smiled nervously. “I’m- I’m sorry, I didn’t know you would have company…”

Nadine turned back to Blake, whose tension seemed to have vanished, at least partially, as his gaze held on this new person.

“Brett, this is Nadine.” Blake’s introduction drew the man into the room enough to offer his hand to her. “She’s a coworker of mind and a, um, a close friend.”

“It’s good to meet you.” Nadine began to shift to crawl off the end of the bed, but a soft sound from Blake made her stop.

“You as well. Blake talks constantly about his coworkers, it’s nice to put at least one face to a name.” Brett glanced toward the chair where her things had landed.

“You can put her things on the counter there.” Blake got out before she could. He glanced between them. “I met Brett about three months ago.”

“Oh!” She smiled at him. “I didn’t realize you were seeing anyone.” Somehow, her own private life never managed to stay quite as private.

“We’re trying it out.” Nadine didn’t miss the hurt look on Brett’s face at Blake’s words. “Seeing if it’ll work.”

She shifted her attention to Brett. “So, what is it you do?”

“I’m a project manager at Lockheed Martin.” He smiled proudly. “I was out celebrating a bit of a work win one evening and ended up sharing the celebration with Blake. We hit it off. And you work with Blake then?”

“Yes. I’m the Secretary’s Chief of Staff. Blake’s almost my counterpart much of the time.”

A slight crease formed between Brett’s brows. “Secretary’s…” His eyes shifted to Blake. “Wait, you work for the Secretary of State?”

“I told you that.” Blake answered to the forgotten table of cards.

“No… You said you worked at the State Department.”

While not an outright lie, it was an exceptional downplay, she had to agree. Blake frowned. “Fine. I’m on the executive team for the Secretary, yes.”

Her brows went up almost reflexively and she regretted it instantly as it seemed Brett caught the movement and pressed further. “In what capacity?”

“I’m her executive assistant. Her, um, personal assistant. I work directly for the Secretary, yes.”

Sensing the shift in the room, Nadine placed her cards on the table and climbed off the bed, reaching for her things.

“Nadine…”

She turned back to see a pleading look on Blake’s face. “I’m going to go down and get a coffee. I’ll be back.” She reassured him before slipping out and pulling the door shut.

A half and hour passed before a shadow crossed the table she found in the small coffee shop on the first floor.

“May I?” Brett looked down; hands shoved in his pockets.

“Sure.” She watched him sit with a sigh. “I apologize for causing a problem before.”

“No. I knew he was holding me at arm’s length, I guess I just thought I knew him better by now. He only even really told me about being diabetic a month ago.”

“He’s always been very private.”

“How long have you known him?”

“Four years.”

“And how long did he take to tell you about being diabetic?”

She had to think back. “Maybe six months, but there were other things at play that made him share even then.”

He sighed, reluctant. “I thought maybe this was starting to mean something more.” Brett stood again.

“Give him time.” Nadine looked up at him. “He’s…cautious… Give him a bit more time. He has a lot he tries to keep quiet, not because he’s ashamed, but because he’s just so used to it needing to be quiet. I can say from experience, it’s hard to shake that after a while. Our job alone, well… It’s common, for the people at our level at least, to simply date other people within our small group who can relate. That’s who we socialize with, for however unhealthy that may be.” She frowned slightly. “And you must understand, he and I especially, we get stopped regularly by people who are wanting an inside track to access to the Secretary. Often, it’s not particularly cordial. I’ve just given up any pretense anymore of even trying to protect myself from it, but I can sympathize with Blake wanting to fly under the radar as just another forgettable DC professional.”

“I- I didn’t realize that.”

“Yes, well… It’s one of those parts of our job we’d rather pretend wasn’t normal.” She gestured for him to sit again. “Tell me a bit about yourself.”

=MS=

The cards were neatly stacked together when she found herself back in Blake’s doorway. “Brett seems nice.” She used it to announce herself. “He found me downstairs and we talked.”

“He seemed pretty convinced it wouldn’t work when he left here.”

“Well…” She retook her spot on the end of the bed. “I applied a bit of diplomacy and I think he’s willing to give you more time.”

It took him several moments before he answered. “Thank you.”


	9. Chapter 9

With one hand resting on the handle of a shopping cart, Nadine debated the option of cereal. It was rare she got a Friday afternoon plus the hint of a weekend free. Her phone ringing deep in her purse made her huff and pick one of the boxes she always chose, tossing it into the cart before finding her phone. She pulled it out, not recognizing the number. “Hello?”

“Nadine?” The voice was familiar enough.

“It’s Alison. McCord. My mom had said you weren’t going in the trip to Canada with her, I didn’t know if it was okay to call.”

“It’s fine. What can I do for you?”

“Well… I have kind of an odd question and I know you don’t get weekends off too often, so if you have plans or anything, I totally get it. I just could use a little help and Stevie is busy at the White House all weekend and-”

“Alison.” Nadine cut her off. “What do you need?”

“I have a school assignment. I’m supposed to make a design based on a vintage style. Make a modern version of it, you know? But I’m having a hard time figuring out what to pick that isn’t so common all my classmates will be doing the same thing. I really want something that’s out of the box.” Nadine heard her sigh. “Mom and Stevie are who I normally bounce design ideas off of, but they’re both gone the one weekend I need to get it done. This stupid assignment couldn’t have come at a worse time.”

She couldn’t help the soft grin as she listened to Ali ramble. “I’d be more than happy to help.”

“Really?”

“Sure. Where are you now?”

“Still in my dorm. I’m just packing up to head home.”

“I’ll send you my address. Gather up whatever you need and bring it over, I just might have some ideas for you.”

She suspected Alison was almost bouncing now. “I’ll be right over. Well, it’ll take about two hours. Is that okay?”

“It sounds fine. I’ll see you shortly.” Nadine tucked her phone back away and looked around before making another pass through the store.

=MS=

Her dining table was covered, including the chairs, with sewing supplies and fabric swatches, all of it temporarily abandoned. Nadine was curled on the sofa beside Alison, they’d pulled the coffee table closer and photo albums and loose photos covered its surface.

Ali picked up another photo. “I should have been asking you for design ideas all along, Nadine. This dress in this one is awesome.”

“I made that.” She laughed at Ali’s surprise. “Mostly I took scissors to things I bought, but that one I actually figured out how to stitch pieces together. It looks a lot better in that picture than it did in person, but I was proud of it.”

“When was this?”

“Eighty? Eighty-one? It was a bit daring at the time, but a year of so later it was almost the norm.” She watched Alison study it longer.

“You know, I bet I could make this just from the picture.”

“You think so?”

Ali nodded. “I might need you to tell me about some of the smaller features, but yeah, I think I could do it.” She climbed off the couch and searched through the supplies for her sketch pad and pencils. “Then I’ll just give it a modern flair and that could be my project. This will be awesome.”

Nadine couldn’t help smiling at her excitement as she watched for a few minutes. “Hey, how about I order some dinner?” She began moving photos back to their rightful places. “We can get the sketches worked out tonight.”

“That… that could take a while.”

She shrugged. “I have a feeling we’re both experts at late nights.”

“That’d be great then.” Ali looked over at the table. “I’ll have to get different fabric tomorrow. Nothing I have right now would work for this outfit.”

Nadine listened to her continue chattering about the sketch as she stepped into the kitchen and placed an order. While she was on the phone, Alison went quiet, and when she returned to the living room, Nadine realized it was because she was now on the phone as well. It didn’t take too long, as she returned to her end of the sofa, to work out that Ali was talking to Elizabeth. She was surprised when Ali passed the phone to her.

“She wants to talk to you.”

“Elizabeth?” She asked once the phone was to her ear.

“You don’t have to entertain her on your weekend of, Nadine.”

“I know. But this is honestly a lot better than what I had planned. Some of these albums I haven’t opened in… years. And she’s been very patient listening to an old lady talk about her youth.” She chuckled when Elizabeth laughed. “I just ordered us an entirely atrocious dinner, perfect for being up all night working on a college project and I think we’re going out in the morning fabric shopping.” She glanced up and Alison nodded eagerly. “I’m looking forward to getting to help.”

“Okay. Well, if you want space, don’t feel afraid to send her packing.”

“I will. You want Alison back?”

“Please.”

Nadine passed the phone back and waited until the call was over before pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs. “I ordered pizza, half supreme and half barbeque chicken. I didn’t think to ask if there was one thing easier for you to work out carbs on than another.”

“It’s all fine.”

“Good. They had a special going, so I got some other small stuff as well.” She chuckled. “It’s probably way too much food, I’m used to ordering for the staff at work.” She watched Ali sketch for a bit. “How is college going otherwise? Your mom hasn’t said a whole lot about you lately.”

“Oh. It’s good. There are a couple other students and two teachers who have type one and then several who have type two. We’ve talked a couple times. I locked my mom out of my glucose monitor finally.”

“Any particular reason why?”

“Well…” She sighed. “I guess… I’m an adult now and I’m on my own. I don’t want her to be spying on me all the time. I would miss out on all the college experience if she was calling me every time my numbers flickered.”

Understanding sank in. “Ah, like the ‘booze and boys’ part of the experience.”

Alison laughed and blushed slightly. “Yeah.”

“I can get that. The whole idea of going away to college is to make that break. I think I told you once before, I had a pretty wild streak myself through high school and even college. I was much more interested in boys and… other things, than studying. I think that’s why I ended up taking time off before I ended up in law school. I wasn’t ready to grow up yet.”

“Wait, what do you mean ‘other things’?”

Nadine felt a blush heat up her neck. “I’m in no way condoning this for you, but…” She shrugged one shoulder. “There may have been some experimenting with drugs that happened.”

“Wow.” Alison shook her head. “Does my mom know that?”

“No, of course not.” She reached out and patted Ali’s arm. “So, since she’s not giving me any details about you these days, any college crushes yet?”

She ducked her head into her sketch pad a second before looking up. “A couple. I told mom about this boy in my class, Gabe, he’s an athlete and so cute but I don’t think he’s even noticed me yet.”

“Have you tried talking to him?”

“No. He’s always with his jock friends and I’m afraid they’ll laugh at me.”

“Well, there’ only one way to find out.” She chuckled. “Unless…there’s someone else?” She watched Ali’s eyes look away.

“There’s a girl on my floor. We’ve been on two dates and we’re both kind of nervous about being really out on campus, at least until we’re sure we want to be actually dating.” Ali sighed. “I haven’t told my parents about her yet.”

Nadine was about to ask why not, but a knock on the door announced dinner had arrived.

=MS=

Nadine perused the bolts of fabric, stopping on one that reminded her quite a bit of the outfit Alison was trying to replicate. “Alison, I think this will do.” She spoke through the rack and then laughed. “I think it just might be the same rather awful shade of plum as well.”

Alison appeared, a bolt of faux leather under her arm. “I came down this aisle and totally missed it! See, it’s a good thing you agreed to come, you know what you’re looking for.”

“I’m glad to be of help. And I was being honest last night to your mom, this is much more fun than sitting around my apartment reading a book, which is most of what I had planned for the weekend. That or catching up on paperwork, which kind of defeats the entire point of a weekend off.” They’d gotten an early start shopping, helped by the fact Alison spent the night at her place. She was glad for the excuse to not let herself hole up and spend the weekend hunched over her laptop and it was nice catching up with Alison as well. She still didn’t have much of a relationship at all with Roman, an annual stilted phone call on his birthday that usually ended abruptly and with at least one of them angry. The younger members of the staff, Blake especially, and then Alison, had all in some ways become the kids she didn’t have. Or at the least, nieces and nephews who didn’t mind the occasional mothering.

A soft beeping shook Nadine back to the rows of fabric and Alison. “What’s that?”

“My monitor. We should stop for lunch.” She frowned.

“Well, is there anything else we need here?”

“I don’t think so. Just need to get it cut and we’re done.”

“Do you have time?”

“Time?” Ali looked confused.

“Before you need to eat. I’m sure we can ask for it to be held for a bit.” She waved to the bolts.

“Oh, no. It’s fine.” Alison dug in her bag and pulled out a snack. “This will do the trick for as long as it will take to finish up here.”

“Okay.”

=MS=

Nadine found herself once again curled up on her sofa, but this time she was alone and had a glass of wine in her hand. She’d ended up spending the entire weekend with Alison, helping her with the design she’d created. She honestly couldn’t remember the last time she’d had such an enjoyable weekend.

Alison had spent the night Saturday as well and Nadine had woken the next morning to the quiet whirring of a sewing machine as Ali had been putting the final stitches into the skirt. Looking over the finished product when she’d held it up, Nadine has mused aloud that the girl would probably love fashion week in New York and when Alison had excitedly asked about it, she’d shrugged and admitted she had contacts in the City and could probably get tickets when the time came.

Alison had insisted Nadine come to the fashion show at the school and see the outfit modeled on the runway, to which she’d readily agreed. As the last of the sewing supplies had been packed up, Alison had thanked her for being such a help. Sipping her wine, Nadine smiled at the memory of offering to help out, or just talk fashion, any time Alison needed it.

In the morning she would call to see how many favors it would take to get Alison to fashion week and then she’d see if maybe, just maybe, she could swing the time off to go as well. It would be a headache to get Elizabeth up there for such a crowded event and no doubt Daisy would have fifteen reasons why the optics were bad for her going anyway, but Alison was well aware of all of that by now. A tiny part of her was selfishly glad that it gave her an easy excuse to tag along in Elizabeth’s place.


	10. Chapter 10

Nadine was expecting the tapping knock against her glass door when it came. She looked up from her paperwork and waved Maggie in. “Come in.” She stood as Maggie led another woman into the room.

“Ma’am, Sara Reis is here for you.”

“Thank you, Maggie.” She watched her assistant nod and slip away before taking her seat again and greeting the other woman. “Please, have a seat, Sara. Undersecretary Ledbetter mentioned to me that you’d taken some emergency family time and that you’d come in today to file for official leave.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” She folded her hands together nervously. “It was very unexpected, taking leave isn’t something I’m doing lightly.”

“I understand. I was just wondering if there was anything further we could help you with? I reviewed you file and you’re almost out of paid leave, we have a fund of sorts here that staffers donate their unused leave days for coworkers who might need them. It’s never enough, but it is available, and we could get into it as see if that would help?”

“That-s that’s very generous of you.” She sniffled.

“We also have options of working from home or part time. Don’t feel as though it is all or nothing.” She studied the way Sara seemed to barely be holding it together and stood, passing her a box of tissues, and taking a seat in a chair in front of the desk. “May I ask what it is that’s happened?”

Sara nodded, wiping her eyes. “It’s… my son, he’s five. He was having a hard time at school and we didn’t understand why. He was always such a sweet little boy. We took him to doctors, behavioral doctors, and they came up with nothing. He had his regular physical and after one of the routine tests they sent up straight to the hospital.” She drew a breath and looked away. “I don’t know if… I didn’t really know what it was, but they said something in his urine was too high and then did a one of those tests where they took blood from his finger.”

“His A1C and checked his glucose.”

That made Sara’s attention snap back to her. “You know what that is?”

“I do.”

“Oh… I- I didn’t before last week. Zach is still in the hospital; they’re trying to stabilize everything, and it’s been really overwhelming. My husband is with him now. We’re trying to learn about everything, and I’ve just felt so…”

When she didn’t finish the sentence, Nadine offered the word she suspected Sara was looking for. “Alone?”

“Yes.”

“Have you accepted the hospital’s offer to speak with other families?”

“They mentioned it like the first day, but I just couldn’t then. It was too much. But now I’m so scared, what kind of life is he going to have?” She waved toward the outer office. “How can I work if he is going to need me all the time?”

Nadine pressed her lips together, considering her words first. “I can tell you it is hard. He’ll have wonderful days and then he’ll have days where the diabetes wins for a while. There’ll be sleepless nights and the worry never really goes away, even once they’re adults. But it’ll be okay.”

“Do you- How do you know so much?”

She shrugged one shoulder. “I’m familiar with it. I can assure you, that we will figure it out. There will be days you have to leave early or miss entirely, and we will work it all out. So long as I’m in here, you can come to me with any of it, even if it’s just about a bad day.”

“I- Thank you.”

“If you have a few minutes, I think we should talk to the Secretary, so she knows. She may be able to offer some help beyond what I can.”

“Oh. I- I don’t want to burden her with my issues. I, um, I do have a meeting later with the endo.”

Nadine stood, moving to the door. “She won’t see it that way. We’ll go see if she has a moment before you have to get back.” Once Sara nodded, Nadine led the way to Blake’s desk. “Is the Secretary free?”

“I just sat lunch in front of her. Can it wait?”

“Mrs. Reis needs to be getting back to her family shortly.” She met his eyes. “And her son, who is in the hospital. She has a meeting with his endo this afternoon.”

She watched as his eyes widened ever so slightly and then cut away to Sara quickly before returning to her. He stood, buttoning his blazer, before turning toward the corner office. “Let me see how busy she is. Give me one moment.”

Once he vanished, Sara spoke again. “It’s okay if she’s busy.”

Nadine touched her arm, hoping to convey reassurance. “I would hate for you to have to leave your family again to talk later.”

Blake popped back into the doorway. “Nadine.”

“See, she’s free.” Nadine led her in, not surprised when Blake pulled the door shut and stayed, hovering in the small space before it. She watched as Elizabeth stood and crossed to the sofa, removing the official divide of the desk as she waved for Sara to join her. “You can tell her everything.” Nadine whispered before Sara moved. “I promise, she’ll understand.”

She was about to join them herself when Blake’s hand on her arm stopped her. She turned back and couldn’t miss the look of worry on his face. “How old is he?” He whispered.

“Five, she said.”

He glanced to the couch quickly. “I’d heard she’d been out for a few days; it was very sudden.”

She watched as Sara began pouring out the story to Elizabeth. When she spoke, she kept her voice low so as to not disturb them. “I did my best to reassure her, but really she needed someone who’s walked the path she is now.”

“You’re a good boss, Nadine. That’s why we all love you.”

She arched a brow at him. “I thought I was the dragon lady?”

He chuckled. “You might be that too, but only because sometimes we need it.”

“Blake?” They both looked over at Elizabeth’s voice.

“Yes, Ma’am.” He looked her way expectantly.

“Would you please come sit? I think Sara could benefit from speaking to you as well.”

“Of course, Ma’am.” Nadine watched as he crossed the room and took a chair.

“Nadine, you’re part of this too. Come sit.” Elizabeth drew her in as well.

=MS=

Blake returned from shutting the door after Sara left, bypassing the chair he’d been sitting in to sink onto the empty spot on the sofa.

“I’ve never had the opportunity to be a support for other new parents.” Elizabeth admitted, reaching across, and patting his leg. “Is it always this draining?”

“It can be.” He rubbed one hand over his face. “I mean, it’s good and I’m glad we could help her feel a bit better about how her son’s health will and won’t impact her work, but… I wasn’t expecting to be doing that today.”

“I’m sorry.” Nadine apologized. “I just thought since she was already here, maybe we could put her mind at ease a bit.”

“It’s fine. I’m glad you brought it to my attention. I want to know when members of my staff are facing something major like that.” Elizabeth sighed and rose to move back to her desk. “Is there something we can do to help her family out?”

“I already told her about the pool of vacation days that staffers donate into. Aside from that, I’m not sure what else there is we can do other than simply be there for her and her family.”

They could see Elizabeth was already thinking about something though and Nadine turned in her chair in anticipation as Blake pushed his feet against the floor to straighten upright. “In the nearly forty thousand people who work here, plus then their families, what are the odds really that only three families have a loved one with some chronic or ongoing condition like this?”

Nadine shook her head. “I would say it’s improbable.” She knew of others, just within the building, who faced ongoing medical and other issues.

“We should do something.” Elizabeth sat in her seat. “We should have a day where we acknowledge the extra work these families do and have a show of support for them. Maybe something on a weekend where they could invite their families as well.”

“I don’t suggest this lightly, but perhaps the time has come to let them know you understand some of what they’re going through. I- I know we have always kept Alison out of the narrative, and I can appreciate that, but… Today it was one thing to tell Sara Reis that I understood what she was going through, but it was something else entirely when she heard you say that you’ve walked that path.” Nadine turned to Blake. “What do you think?”

“I think a day to show our employees and their families that we appreciate and acknowledge the sacrifices they make for the job is a great idea. We do small things, but it would be good to do a big event. And… I can see both sides of Nadine’s suggestion.”

“Would you do it?” Elizabeth asked him. “You ended up backing out of being public when Lydia did her initiative.”

They watched him think about it a minute. “If we put it together and you took the lead, I would share as well.”

=MS=

“You wore it!” Alison’s gleeful squeal reached Nadine before her arms wrapped her in a hug.

Nadine couldn’t help laughing as she returned the embrace. “I told you I would.” She pulled away, twirling with her arms out to show off the blouse Ali had designed. “I love it.” She looked around. “Where is the rest of your family?”

“Oh! They got stopped by some families wanting to thank Mom for putting all this together.”

 _This_ was a department-wide picnic that she and Blake had spent five months putting together for the families who worked at State. “I wanted to talk to her before the speech.”

“Blake was trying to pull her away. I’m sure they’ll get over here in a minute.” Nadine caught her chew her lip a second. “Before they get over here, there’s someone I wanted to introduce to you.” Alison waved someone over. “Nadine, this is Jessie, my girlfriend. Jessie, this is Nadine, she’s like the best aunt ever.”

Nadine laughed at Ali’s introduction as she welcomed the young woman before turning back to Alison. “Your parents have already met her?”

“Um, no? I was going to do that today.”

She looked between the pair. “She’s going to be thrilled.”

“You think?”

Nadine nodded. “I know. Now, we should probably head to the stage and get ourselves ready.” She turned, leading the way through the crowd as she listened to Alison and Jessie talk behind her. Just as they arrived, she could make out Blake anxiously bossing their boss around. As fun as this day was meant to be, the planning of it had reminded her why they generally kept Blake away from organizing events. “Blake.” She caught his attention. “I’ll handle this, go catch up with Alison a second.” She shooed him away before turning to Elizabeth. “Ready?”

“Yes. If I could get him to calm down, my nerves would ease up.” She laughed. “I was telling Henry last night; we really should have organized something like this years ago.”

“Well, better late than never.”

“I agree.” Elizabeth flipped through her notecards a moment. “Thank you for coming up there with us and for… For everything, Nadine. While I was writing this, I thought a lot about all the things you’ve done for years to support us with Alison and then she shared things I didn’t even know about. You never had to do any of that.”

“It was my honor to get to support all of you.” Laughter caught her attention and Nadine turned to see Blake hugging Alison. “Perhaps you should go see what that’s about before we go up on stage.” She encouraged Elizabeth to go and talk to her daughter.

Standing in a row with the McCords and Blake ten minutes later, Nadine listened to the words of Elizabeth’s speech. She listened to the maternal worry and fear she’d heard over the years in the quiet moments when Elizabeth had allowed Alison to return to the forefront of her mind. She listened to stories of doctors’ visits and hospital stays and learning to let go as her daughter grew up. Elizabeth moved on to talking about the importance of having a support network, of having friends and coworkers willing to listen and help with things like bringing a meal or simply offer to sit up with you, when Nadine felt something bump her arm.

When she looked over, Blake was looking down at her. “That bit’s about you, you know.”

“What?”

“You do those things. You’ve stood by me on bad days, visited Ali and I in the hospital…”

She ducked her face away. It felt like such little things over the span of years, she was surprised they even remembered them.

“Thank you.” His whisper made her look up again.

“It was and will always be my pleasure.”


End file.
